Over a month and I’ve not even tapped into this blog. I’m already falling short of what I wanted to do with this. I cannot let that happen. It means to much to me. I think I let it fall short because I feel like no one reads it. Then again I’ve only had it up two months not shared it much. But in the same since I think I do this with many different aspects of my life.
Let things fall short.
I get unmotivated. I get down.
I feel unwelcomed in my own life.
So I just let it go. Fall short of what I really need to do.
I have to stop that! Happen to you much? I mean it happens before I can even realize it’s happening. You knoe what I mean? Seems like one day it’s fine. Then the next I look up and see failure and let down.
I cannot stand that. Failure and letdown. Its happened to much in my life. But I’ve done it.
My studio? Barely touched. It needs painting, nee floors, selves, bacdrops, lights and so much more. And here I am just doing nothing. I’ve somehow let it fall short and it’s the one thing in my life I was certain about.
Losing weight? Yeah right. I’m still right where I was! I’ve kept shoving the worst foods in my mouth and then feel bad later.
Found a 9-5 job? No! I keep looking bit get nowhere. Just seems like I have nothing to offer and I’ve just accepted that. What more can I do? anything! But I’m doing nothing.
How the hell do we let this happen? What makes us do these things? I’m not sure but I’m going to try like hell not stop them from now on.
See its not that I’m depressed or something. Because in reality I’m not! My life isn’t going bad. It’s pretty straight actually. But still I’m feeling this way.
And there is this part of my brain that likes to take over and drag me down. I think this happens because we are so used to bad and being down that our minds feel we have to have some part of life in the dumps. But see that’s not true. WE are the ones who have to change that.
So here I am @12am deciding to stop and take a look at my short comings and Conquer them before they conquer me.
Don’t let YOU get the best of you. Remember that for every hard moment there is an easier one to come.
I know this post is a drag. But I’m only being honest. In this moment in my bed I feel like I’ve hit my bumbed out moment since my move…
However. …like most things. ..
This too shall pass
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